I'm afraid...

...of the big bad wolf.

Of the man that promised me the world,
Of the man I can't stop loving.

Of the man that broke my heart and trampled upon it
Of the man that tore my soul into a hundred different pieces.

Yet, I can't tear myself away
He introduced me to joy
Like I never knew before
Known happinesss and laughter
To light a room up
I met love
Like I never dared before.

I am scared,I am afraid,
I wished I was 12 again,
When the only thing I was afraid was being uncool.

I am trying,harder than I ever thought it was humanly possible
I am loving, more than is possible for my little war torn heart.
I am crying, deep inside where you can't hear because you never have the time

The more I try,the more you push me away
The more I love,the less I get in return
The more I cry, the less you seem to notice.

And so I lay,
All my cards on this table of life
And I leave it to fate,
To guide me like it have always done

I am a fighter.I am a loser.I am an investor, investing on a childish dream of someday owning the world.

And so I hurt.And so I cry.But yet I made up my mind,
to leave everything that I had ever known
to chase the illusive dream of a happily ever after
that only I seem to want like a hole in my head.


- Dedicated to the one who never had time to read my blogs -