Tales from hicksville 1

I have been randomly sharing stories of strange (mostly ridicullious) encounters that I've had since moving here - because they are mostly short I don't usually blog about it,but sharing is caring so here you go!

Le Bacons are lazyasses.We don't like cleaning (vac,toilet,mopping) but it is a fact of life that everyone has to clean sometimes. So I was thinking of hiring a temp maid (well, to be very PC, they call it cleaner)of maybe 2 hours a week to clean toilets,vac and mop the floors.Being the stupidass I am, I advertised it as paying £8 per hour - which will equate £16 for two hours and if you convert that into RM my mommy will probably grill my lazyarse. Seeing that the min. wages are £5.70, I am paying quite a good rate by any standards.

Anyway.I have been getting all sorts of applicants through my email since yesterday and most of it is so bizzare - some send a whole cv which reads:

EDUCATION
Master of Tourism, with a specialisation in Tourism Economy at Higher School of Economy and Tourism in Warsaw

Bachelor of Tourism, with a specialisation in Tourism Organisation and Handling at College of Tourism and Recreation in Warsaw

WHY would someone with a Masters in Tourism want to work for me as a maid??Hell, I'm not even that educated.

Another one states that she has been an au pair/ child minder for the past 12 years (if her cv is to believed) and she has a degree in sports management and she is very 'sportif'.Again, WHY? Maybe I should pay her to be my personal trainer whilst she clean.

Best was,

hi dear..am single man 40yr old looking for apart time job becaouse buzy
some time would verey nice if contact me for more information on
0779xxxxxx ......thnk you

Now,I am not advertising for some porno/stripper shiet,why would you want to tell your 'potential' employer that you are single and call her/him dear??bacon's only response was, "His england not powderfull huh". He's sounding more and more like me every single day - so proud:)

I had a couple more applicants from the new EU countries i.e. Poland,Slovakia,Romania and a couple with african-sounding names. I initially thought it was piss hilarious (still do) but obviously I should stop laughing as they are only offering to do menial jobs because they are new immigrants - and jobs are not easy to come by,menial or not.Sides, I pay really well:).